3. Considers You When Making Decisions – Both Big And Small.

A relationship is a partnership, not a dictatorship. If either you falls down, one can help the other up. Ecclesiastes 4:9.

Factoring you in shows that he respects you, that he wants to create a life with you, not simply envelope you in his world. Our worlds can be comfortable, it’s not always easy taking someone else into account, factoring in their wants and needs and preferences, but that’s what a relationship is.

4. He Has A Job And Is Growth-Oriented.

He must have a job. Look closely at his job history. Is he someone who quits from different jobs and has no stable job history? You want a man who will go to work no matter what. He will provide for his family just as much as you will provide for the family.

He must also be willing to grow character wise, emotionally and otherwise in the relationship. No one is perfect, we all have flaws. And these flaws aren’t black and white- usually a person’s greatest strength is a hint to their greatest weakness. In a relationship, his behavior affects you (and vice versa) and sometimes his less developed traits will have a negative impact on you. A growth oriented guy will want to strengthen his character and work on it. A guy who isn’t growth oriented will say “it’s your problem and this is the way he is and you need to deal with it.”

For example, let’s say you’re dating a guy who can be insensitive at times. Maybe he doesn’t give you emotional support when you’ve had a rough day and instead just gives you matter of fact advice in a direct way. His no nonsense approach to solving problems might be useful to him in the workplace, but it might be hurtful to you sometimes when he doesn’t empathize with what you’re going through and instead just tells you what to do about it, or gets impatient by the fact that you’re upset over something he doesn’t consider to be that big of a deal.

You want a guy who will accept that his tone can be harsh and hurtful and who actually tries to work on it, not one who says it’s your problem and you need to deal with it. He probably won’t get it right every time, but if he’s growth oriented he will at least try.

5. Common Beliefs and Values.

“Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers.” 2 Corinthians 6:14. This one seems so obvious yet it’s so often overlooked. If he is going to be your life partner, you have to make sure you both are on the same page when it comes to issues that matter. Most issues, no matter how trivial at the beginning, do eventually matter. And if you aren’t on the same page, then make sure he respects where you stand (and vice versa) and that you both are willing to work together to reach a mutually fulfilling middle ground. This can refer to religion, core values, lifestyle preferences, where you want to live, whether you want to have children.

6. He Views You As His Partner.

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labour. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone”. Ecclesiastes 4:9

The relationship is something more than just you and him… together, you and he are a team in love. And as that team, you are both individually stronger than you could be on your own. He sees you as his equal, as someone of great value who he can grow with. “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.”Ecclesiates 4:12

He respects everything about you- your thoughts, ambitions, opinions, the things you say, the company you keep, your job. He doesn’t make you feel bad about your life circumstances and he appreciates the person you are and the choices you have made.

7. He Is Willing To Put Effort Into The Relationship.

If there is a problem, he wants to find a way to solve it, he wants to work harder, to be better, and to be his best self. The important thing to keep in mind is that people have different ideas of what it means to put effort into a relationship. He might believe that working hard and being good at his job is putting in effort because he wants to provide for you and give you nice things and a comfortable lifestyle (I use this as an example because it’s a classic point of contention between men and women because she will often view him working too much as him putting no effort into the relationship and being married to his work). When this happens, find ways to make him understand that you appreciate his hard work but you still want him at home with you.

8. You’re Able To Communicate With Each Other.

Even about tough issues and even if one person is upset with the other. Talk to each other. Be open minded and receptive about the views of the other regarding whatever you are talking about.

With the right guy, you won’t be afraid of bringing up certain things for fear of rocking the boat. You know he respects you and will see what you have to say as valid and important. Every relationship will face its share of obstacles. There will be fights, miscommunications, arguments, and also times when one partner isn’t feeling loved. The only way to emerge from the tough times better and stronger is to work through them together and this starts with open communication.

9. He’s Trustworthy.

You feel safe being open and honest with him and are not afraid of him violating that trust or using anything against you. You trust that he won’t leave you unexpectedly, that he is genuine, and thathe does mean what he says. You don’t feel an underlying sense of suspicion, like he has some ulterior motives. You trust that he cares about you deeply and would never intentionally hurt you.

10. He Wants To Marry You.

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24

It seems so obvious but yet, it’s not. A guy can have all the qualities on this list but if he doesn’t want to marry you, or maybe doesn’t want to get married in general, then he is not your husband. When a guy is ready to get married and meets a girl he thinks he can spend his life with, he knows pretty early on. That’s not to say they get engaged right away, but he knows this is it and she knows it too, maybe he tells her or maybe it’s just so obvious and he doesn’t even need to. It might be the wrong time, maybe he wants to wait until he’s more established in his career, more financially stable, but he will still convey his level of commitment, she won’t be left hanging and guessing and wondering.

If he still feels like he has wild oats to sow and is still drawn to the single, bachelor, party boy lifestyle, he is not marriage-minded and you are setting yourself up for disappointment. If what you want is a serious, lasting commitment, make sure he is on the same page before you do anything. When a guy is ready for a serious commitment, it’s usually pretty obvious. And if it isn’t, then bring it up and discuss it with him. If he’s husband material, he’ll understand. If he isn’t… then at least now you know before it’s too late!

 In all of this, you must pray for the husband you want. Pray without ceasing and believe God to bring such a person into your life. Most of all, have love in your heart always. For without love you are nothing. 1 Corinthians 13:2

God Bless You Abundantly. Amen.

Ten Qualitites of a Good Husband

AmazingTower Ministries

1. M. Archibong Esq.